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The Wonders of Being Curious
I have done many strange things in my life. I am realizing that I like to explore, and as I understand it more deeply, I find myself doing less and simply being. Being strange, of course!
Here is the adventure of the last day or so-
Drive to see a good friend so I can help organize his office while Zander plays Legend of Mana. On the way, swing by where I keep my flat bed trailer parked. Notice that it isn't there. Pause. Look again. Still not there. Hmmm. Interesting!
Now there have been times when I would have felt a lot of resistance to this state of affairs. Times when my perception of how it was supposed to be- ie, that the trailer should be where I parked it- might have interfered with my happiness. I might have generated all kinds of outrage and sadness and blame and self-pity. But, no. My primary emotional response was one of (you guessed it) curiosity!
It's such a fun state compared to all those fearful and angry options.
This morning I called my ex to make sure he hadn't somehow driven it back to the ranchette. (Unlikely in his Prius...) Checked with the office to make sure it hadn't been towed. (Also unlikely, since they are on good terms with me, and have called me before when they wanted it moved.) Of course neither turned out to be true. So I called the police, and they were helpful. Filed the report. Wondered how to intention about it. Still couldn't find any part of me that was upset. Just curious.
Had my purse stolen about four years back. Asked my angels to see to it that it was returned with all my valuables. Three days later it was found, with all my id and credit cards and my checkbook and my phone and basically everything I actually cared about. Missing were the cash, which was replaceable, the pda which I never used, and the fob for my truck. Which I just didn't understand why anyone would steal.
I got exactly what I asked for.
Now though, I'm not so clear on what I want. If they find it, they'll impound it, and perhaps arrest the person currently in possession of it. I get to pay the impound fees. (How do I write yay sarcastically?) If I get it back, I still have to think about getting the truck fixed so I can legally tow it. Right now, the hitch wiring is out of whack, and though the trailer is in perfect condition, the right signal doesn't get through from my truck. And I haven't needed it for almost a year. I only had one big commission in that span, and all the materials got delivered to the site. So I haven't registered it. Or changed the title from my ex's name. You see? Maybe it went away as a favor to me.
Truthfully, I don't know yet. I'm waiting a bit before I decide. Even in this, though, I remain curious. I wonder what I'll choose to ask my angels. I wonder what kind of adventures Daisy is having. (Yes, I name my vehicles. My truck is named Harrison. Guess the maker...) I wonder what will happen if I ask for nothing and just let the events flow around me. This option is very tempting...
Anyway, I'll sleep on it. Good night. (I wonder what I'll dream about tonight... I wonder who'll read this... I wonder what adventures I'll have tomorrow...)
Here is the adventure of the last day or so-
Drive to see a good friend so I can help organize his office while Zander plays Legend of Mana. On the way, swing by where I keep my flat bed trailer parked. Notice that it isn't there. Pause. Look again. Still not there. Hmmm. Interesting!
Now there have been times when I would have felt a lot of resistance to this state of affairs. Times when my perception of how it was supposed to be- ie, that the trailer should be where I parked it- might have interfered with my happiness. I might have generated all kinds of outrage and sadness and blame and self-pity. But, no. My primary emotional response was one of (you guessed it) curiosity!
It's such a fun state compared to all those fearful and angry options.
This morning I called my ex to make sure he hadn't somehow driven it back to the ranchette. (Unlikely in his Prius...) Checked with the office to make sure it hadn't been towed. (Also unlikely, since they are on good terms with me, and have called me before when they wanted it moved.) Of course neither turned out to be true. So I called the police, and they were helpful. Filed the report. Wondered how to intention about it. Still couldn't find any part of me that was upset. Just curious.
Had my purse stolen about four years back. Asked my angels to see to it that it was returned with all my valuables. Three days later it was found, with all my id and credit cards and my checkbook and my phone and basically everything I actually cared about. Missing were the cash, which was replaceable, the pda which I never used, and the fob for my truck. Which I just didn't understand why anyone would steal.
I got exactly what I asked for.
Now though, I'm not so clear on what I want. If they find it, they'll impound it, and perhaps arrest the person currently in possession of it. I get to pay the impound fees. (How do I write yay sarcastically?) If I get it back, I still have to think about getting the truck fixed so I can legally tow it. Right now, the hitch wiring is out of whack, and though the trailer is in perfect condition, the right signal doesn't get through from my truck. And I haven't needed it for almost a year. I only had one big commission in that span, and all the materials got delivered to the site. So I haven't registered it. Or changed the title from my ex's name. You see? Maybe it went away as a favor to me.
Truthfully, I don't know yet. I'm waiting a bit before I decide. Even in this, though, I remain curious. I wonder what I'll choose to ask my angels. I wonder what kind of adventures Daisy is having. (Yes, I name my vehicles. My truck is named Harrison. Guess the maker...) I wonder what will happen if I ask for nothing and just let the events flow around me. This option is very tempting...
Anyway, I'll sleep on it. Good night. (I wonder what I'll dream about tonight... I wonder who'll read this... I wonder what adventures I'll have tomorrow...)